


A Song I’ll Sing For You.

by a1_kitkat



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Guitars, Love Confessions, M/M, Malex, Not Beta Read, Prompt Fill, Song writing, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 15:38:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18097211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: For @fandomgirl1032 on tumblrMichael once wrote a song for Alex but what he didn’t know was that Alex would often sing the song for his fellow soldiers, to keep them sane and grounded during deployment.When Michael meets one of the soldiers his song helped, he realizes just how much it still means to Alex





	A Song I’ll Sing For You.

“Do you remember that song you used to play?”

Michael looked up from his drink and into the familiar eyes of Alex Manes. It had been a few weeks since he’d last seen him, his heart skipped a beat but he kept a neutral face.

“Might want to narrow it down a bit, soldier” Michael didn’t intend to sound so short.  
“In music class” Alex added “you spent two months writing it then teaching yourself to play it” he paused, lowered his voice “and another three weeks teaching it to me”

He held Alex’s gaze for a long moment, god he could get lost in those eyes.  
“I don’t play anymore” he confessed before forced himself to look away, back down at his drink which he picked up and swirled in his hand.  
Michael could feel Alex’s eyes staring at the scars on his hand as he blatantly waved it before him.  
“Because you can’t or you won’t?”  
“I found another way to silence the chaos inside me” he snapped before downing the rest of his drink.

Michael stood up, stepped forward until his body was practically pressed against Alex’s. He could almost feel the want, need, desire, exhuming from his body or maybe it was his that he was projecting towards Alex.

“My dad took so much from us” Alex whispered in Michael’s ear “don’t let him take that too”  
Then Alex took a step back, away from Michael and turned his back. As he headed for the exit, Michael sank back into the seat.

Maria appeared a moment later to clear away his empty glass. Her eyes gave a very knowing look but there was no way she knew about his history with Alex.

“Making friends, Michael?” She teased.  
“What can I say?” He replied “I’m a people person”  
“Well find other people. Alex has been through enough, he doesn’t need people like you giving him a hard time”  
He stared at her with mocked surprise on his face.  
“Me? Give someone a hard time?”  
“Just pay your tab and get out; it’s ladies night and you remember what happened last ladies night you had too much to drink”  
“Actually I don’t”  
“Just go”

Michael gave her a wink and a smile, handed her a few notes, not even close to covering his tab, and took his leave.  
But as he drove back to the air stream, all he could think about was Alex. Nothing unusual there really, he’d been thinking about him more and more lately. It was just strange that Alex would mention that song to him. He hadn’t sung it in years, not since Alex had shipped out.

Once inside the air stream, he made his way to the far end and one of his few storage spaces. Inside was a long neglected guitar. The case was covered in dust but inside was pristine. Tucked underneath were a few pages of sheet music.  
He carried them to his bed and held the guitar in his lap while his eyes scanned the sheets. The music was already playing in his head. A melody he hadn’t heard in years but it was there, like he was already playing it.

The lyrics brought tears to his eyes. They were dripping with want, yearing, desire... for the one you long to be with, can’t bare to be without.  
He’d written this for Alex; hadn’t exactly realized at the time he’d started it but once it was finished... It was everything he’d ever wanted to say to him.  
The irony had been that Alex had just taken it at face value, for the emotional song it was. He hadn’t realized the deeper meaning behind it until after Michael had kissed him, after they’d been together and separated by Alex’s dad. He hadn’t fully understood Michael’s song until after Michael couldn’t play it anymore. With his damaged hand, Michael hadn’t been able to hold a guitar but he had the ability to teach Alex.  
The first time Alex had succeeded in playing it through, they both had tears in their eyes.  
Alex had shipped out two days later.

Michael scrunched up the sheet music in frustration but immediately flattened it again.  
This song had meant something to them once and now Alex was talking about it again. Was that whole display at the drive in not really been what Alex wanted for them? Did Alex still feel the way this song made him feel all those years ago?

He gripped the guitar in his hand and started strumming the strings. It sounded so foreign, felt so strange in his grasp but he could do this. He had to do this. Alex was right, his father had taken Alex away but he couldn’t take his love for music from him. He couldn’t let Jesse Manes have yet another win.

*

Before going to bed each night, over the following days, Michael would strum his guitar. For the first week, his hand ached from overuse. His fingers not used to being worked so tightly but a part of him welcomed the pain. It felt good to play again, to hear the music with his ears instead of just in his head.

But he didn’t play the song. He couldn’t bring himself to play it, not yet. Not until he was able to strum his guitar without it hurting.

*

Open mic night was always buzzing at the Wild Pony and Michael had taken to keeping his guitar in his pickup just in case he ever got up the nerve. 

His decision was made when he saw just how few people were in attendance tonight and how Maria was having a difficult time enticing people up on the stage. She offered half price drinks to little appeal but when she climbed on the bar and declared the next person to take the stage would drink for free the following hour, Michael was the first one up there.

He didn’t bother to grab his guitar, instead he chose to pick up the ratty old one that had been up on the stage forever. He strummed a few bars and was surprised to find it in tune.  
Michael adjusted his grip and saw something etched into the neck of the instrument. The letters AM burned into his mind as he realized this had belonged to Alex; he must’ve given it to Maria before he left.

The audience was getting restless so he started to strum the first song that came to mind. His voice was a touch gravelly, having not sung in a long time but it worked and by the time he’d finished, Maria was waiting side of stage with his drink.  
He followed her back to the bar and dropped into his usual spot, nursing the drink while casually sipping it. Playing Alex’s guitar stirred up a lot of memories for him. He had to fight the urge to get back up there and touch it, hold it, play it again.

Maria must’ve sensed something was off, probably because he could drive up quite the tab and hadn’t yet. She handed him a second drink while he was still working on the first and offered to clear his tab by half.  
He downed the rest of his drink and picked up the second.

“Where did you get the guitar?” He asked.  
“Why? You in the market?” She teased.  
“It’s old but it plays good”  
“It’s not for sale; it’s Alex’s... I keep hoping he’ll come back for it one day but he doesn’t seem to want to play anymore”  
“When was the last time he played here?”  
“I don’t remember... but he only ever played for me and my mum, after closing... never for a crowd”

Michael downed his second drink. The stage was still empty so he made his way back up there, picked up the guitar in his trembling hand and sat down behind the microphone. He closed his eyes, took a breath and started to play his song about Alex.

He was halfway through the song, his voice cracking with emotion, when he saw a man around his age watching him with tears in his eyes. He blinked back tears of his own; this guy listening to him play, he got it, he understood... and was singing along.  
Michael managed to finish the song but his eyes were on the stranger before him. He put the guitar aside but when he turned back, the patron was gone.

He couldn’t let him go, he needed to know how he knew Alex’s song. Michael hurried outside and into the carpark where he found the mystery man sitting on the bonnet of a nearby car, his face buried in his hands. He was sobbing.

“Hey!” Michael called out as he approached the man. “Hey!”  
He reached out, a bit too aggressively, and grabbed the man’s arm in a bid to get his attention.

“I’m sorry” the man said to him as he wiped his eyes. With his movements, Michael caught a flash of silver dog tags. “I’m sorry if I was disrespectful”  
“Disrespectful?”  
“Leaving while you were still singing... it’s just that... that song...”  
“How do you even know it?”  
“I was stationed in the Middle East; we were a long way from home, in the middle of a war zone, away from everyone we knew and cared about. It was tough... it hit some of us worse than others... one of our COs had a guitar and he’d play for us, every night to... lift our spirits... until an IED took him out” he paused, lost in his memory “after his death, all music at base camp stopped completely... until another officer picked up the guitar and sang that very song... There wasn’t a dry eye in camp that night”

Michael didn’t know what to say, couldn’t form any words at this man’s confession.  
“Manes sang for us every night” he continued “some nights, it was the only thing that kept us going, gave us the strength to carry on”  
“You served with Alex”  
“He was the best soldier I ever served with, brave as Hell and so heartbroken”

Michael averted his eyes. He didn’t want this stranger to see him cry.  
But he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to meet his gaze.

“You must be Michael” he said to him “I’m Ramsey”  
“Alex has never mentioned you” Michael admitted.  
“He talked about you though... a lot... and only ever to me. The whole don’t ask, don’t tell thing... I asked and he told”  
“Why would he-?”  
“The song, of course; I could see what it meant to him but singing it was important, no matter how much it broke his heart”  
“Why are you telling me this?”  
“Because that song that you wrote, Manes singing that song, helped me, helped us, survive a war zone”

Michael broke free of Ramsey’s grasp, turned on his heel and ran back inside the Wild Pony. His heart was racing, eyes still brimming with tears as he reached across the bar and poured himself a drink.  
He was still drinking when Maria closed for the evening.

*

Michael was passing through town the following afternoon when something inside the Crashdown caught his eye and he stopped in his tracks. Alex was sitting at a table with a wide smile on his face and a sparkle in his shining eyes, sitting opposite him was Ramsey.  
Michael froze, just watched them. How at ease Alex was, how happy he was, how comfortable he was with his friend. He took a step back, didn’t want to be seen. His one hope right now was that Ramsey wouldn’t tell Alex that they’d talked or that Michael had sang that song.

He took another step then another before he turned on his heel and ran as far away from the Cafe as possible.

*

The sun had set hours ago and Michael was sitting outside the air stream with the fire burning before him, the guitar resting in his lap, he was just casually strumming it while thinking about everything Ramsey had said to him.  
In the end, he got up and put the guitar away in his truck, checked his pockets for the keys. He needed to talk to Alex!

Michael cursed and made his way back inside the air stream in search of his keys by the time he found them and stepped outside again, he found he wasn’t alone.

“Alex” Michael greeted him.  
He looked good; so good. Michael just wanted to reach out, to touch him, hold him.

“A friend of mine from the Air Force was passing through town today” Alex cut straight to the point “and we went to the Crashdown for lunch... I used to rave about their milkshakes during deployment”  
Michael nodded his head.  
“We talked a lot about anything and everything... the things we saw over there, the people we got to know and the people we lost along the way” he looked down at his leg “the things we lost too”

Michael’s hand twitched, he wanted to reach for Alex’s hand.

“It stirred up a lot of memories for me” Alex continued, his eyes still averted “he and I email, a lot, he’s always asking about my love life”  
“Got a thing for you, has he?”  
“Ramsey?” Alex laughed “he’s married, lovely wife and twin daughters”  
“He could still have a thing for you”  
“He doesn’t... He’s a friend”

Michael shoved his hands in his pockets to resist the temptation to take Alex in his arms.  
“Is he the reason you asked me about that song?” Michael asked him.  
He didn’t miss the look of surprise on Alex’s face.  
“Yeah” he admitted “he was... I... Uh... I used to play it for him, for everyone as an escape from reality... because when I was scared, thinking of you, kept me grounded, kept me sane”

It was all he needed to hear, Michael took a step towards him, placed his hand upon Alex’s cheek and claimed his lips in a fierce kiss.  
Alex didn’t miss a beat and returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm. Michael gave a low growl when he felt Alex’s fingers in his hair, tugging at his curls just a little too hard.

It was a long time before they parted; Michael refused to let go, his hand stayed on Alex’s face, foreheads pressed together.  
“You being away drove me insane” Michael told him “and you being back here... but not in my arms, not in my bed, not in my life, continues to drive me crazy”  
“Guerin-“  
“It’s been ten years, Alex, ten years. And I never stopped thinking of you, wanting you, missing you” he paused, lowered his voice “loving you”

He felt Alex’s body tense, heard the small gasp pass his lips. It was the first time Michael had ever said the word aloud to anyone. He wondered if Alex had ever heard it from someone who wasn’t his mother.

“I know” Alex whispered “I’ve always known how you felt; knew it every time you sang those words. I heard it every time I played your song”  
Michael waited for the right pause then kissed him again; could taste the saline of his tears that had silently started running down his cheeks.  
He softly brushed the tears aside but continued to hold Alex, afraid that if he let him go, he’d leave again.

With their foreheads still pressed together, Alex closed his eyes and very softly began to sing the very familiar words of Michael’s song. The second Alex’s voice touched him, tears formed in his eyes and he tightened his embrace, clutched Alex to him as fiercely as possible.  
By the chorus, Michael was singing along. Their voices as in tune, in sync as their bodies.  
Both simply allowed their tears to fall as they sang to the other. Alex’s voice gave out before the song’s end but Michael held him, continued singing to him and when they were finished, when the song was over, he covered the tiny space between them and kissed him.

They stood, arms around each other, tears streaming down their faces. Michael looked into Alex’s tear filled eyes.  
“I love you, Alex Manes” he whispered and was met with the same audible gasp.  
“Michael Guerin, I love you too” Alex replied.  
“And I’m going to take you into my trailer, into my bed and I’m going to make love to you all night long”  
“And in the morning, I’ll wake you up with a guitar solo”

Michael laughed and nodded his head yes. He didn’t care how Alex woke him in the morning, all that mattered was Alex was going to be there the next morning and the one after that and the one after that and...  
He reached down, took Alex’s hand in his and slowly took his love towards the trailer and the first night of the rest of their lives.


End file.
